Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ashley Madison, Have You No Shame?


Actually, we all have SUITCASES of shame, and that's the problem. We usually bring all of it to our relationships, and then create more with each new love. Which is likely the reason that---at some point---there will be conflict.

Ashley Madison is simply the fall-out from a Western society based on bigger-better-faster-stronger, perfectionism, shame-based judgments, fears of mortality, and a general refusal to accept when our demands are not immediately met. So your wife or husband isn't fulfilling you sexually? Or say they're just generally being a pain in the ass? Who needs to WASTE TIME working on that relationship!? Who knows--it could take weeks, months, YEARS to heal that relationship! Who has that kind of time to spend mending the "love of our life"? Pshaw, I say!!

INSTEAD...why don't you just FIX your intimacy problem, get your sexual and emotional needs INSTANTLY met with some STRANGE ASS!!? It's exciting, it's taboo, and best of all: it's OUR SECRET!!! Your partner will NEVER find out, and hey--what they don't know can't hurt them, right?! Okay, so maybe they eventually find out; Say they discover some weird number on the cell phone bill, or you forget to erase the history cache of your computer, or perhaps they start to wonder why you've been going out with "your friends" increasingly more often these days.

Ok, so maybe they DO find out. Here's the thing: Ashley Madison HELPS your relationship!! That's right! By meeting your sexual "exploration" needs, you'll be HAPPIER at home! You'll have more ENERGY for your partner, and you'll be more emotionally available to meet your partners needs now that YOUR NEEDS are being fulfilled! (Granted, by someone outside your relationship...but technicalities, schmechnicalities! You're GETTING LAID!!!)

All right, so cheap shots at the "dating" service aside, does ANYONE actually believe that being granted "permission" to cheat on your spouse is going to, in fact, improve your relationship with them? Because that's the premise that the founder of A.M. based his service on. I happened to catch him on the Tyra Show a few months ago, and he insisted that "people are going to cheat anyway," so why not give them a "safe" place to score their tail? Riiiight, so let me get this straight: Since people are going to cheat on their taxes anyway, maybe I should create a service that allows to you withhold money from the IRS, safely, without anyone finding out...and that will be totally kosher with all parties involved? Cool beans.

I'm sickened and saddened that this is a for-real service; and to make matters worse, this dude is married. WITH KIDS. Two little girls, in fact. And the grossy-grossest part? The Ashley Madison site is named after the "two most popular little girl's names of 2001" (the year the site was founded.)

America, we have met an all-time morality low. Congratulations.


TODAY'S ROXY SHOCKS RX: Make the effort to work on your romantic, monogamous relationship, and it can and will be fulfilling. If you don't want that kind of responsibility, MORE POWER TO YA! Stay single! Live it up! BUT, if you've chosen to get married or partner-up, you have to put in the work to stay fulfilled!

So it doesn't take much effort to chat up some hottie on IM; think about the effort and time it will take when you get divorced, are in custody disputes, or look someone in the eyes that you've been cheating on. You've made promises (maybe even vows) to your partner. Respect them. Better yet, respect yourself in the morning, and always. As my awesome father-in-law says, "Peace of mind is better than a piece of ass."

Brilliant.

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